I struggle almost every minute with my hopes and wants.
When becoming a parent your needs and wants HAVE to go on the back burner. I, for a long time, struggled with this. I go through the emotions: pity, anger, sadness. I thought it would go away but it hasn't. I have to learn to cope with it.
I have since struggled with the fact that I may not want another child.
At the end of the day I have to be okay with that fact. I need to understand that I can make that choice.
And I need to also be okay with changing my mind! Life isn't about everything being set in stone. Life is consistently changing and I'm consistently changing my mind!
Some days (okay, most days) I want to just run away, more so more than I ever did as a child! Anyone else?
BUT at the end of the day, I just want my son and husband by my side. They are my world, I wouldn't want to change it.
Life isn't about being perfect, it's just about trying and living.